May 2010
97 posts
I was pregnant
And then I wasn’t. In between is a long stretch of time that’s left me twisting in pain, both physically and emotionally. But I’ll be okay, sooner or later.  I’ll be like Ken, who somehow shrugs it off and falls into a dreamless sleep.  I’ll stop feeling like the weak one for crying at 2am, and feeling like my heart is going to break.  I’ll stop thinking that...
May 30th
96 notes
I am a coward.  I spent the afternoon in a panic.  It doesn’t matter why.  Except that there was pain.  And blood.  And questionable hormone levels.  And everything I read contradicts the next thing I read and now there is a dull ache of fear in my heart that twists and worries and won’t go away. I am a coward.  I am afraid. Little grape seed, little ball of cells, little life to be.  I am doing...
May 29th
69 notes
I have a secret. A big one.
So in order to avoid spilling it, I’m logging off for the rest of the weekend.  If anybody needs me, I’ll be sitting in the corner holding my hand over my mouth. Have a wonderful holiday weekend everyone!
May 28th
58 notes
freddashdog asked: 1) First body part you wash?
2) Parallel park or drive around the block?
3) Did you have a childhood nickname?
4) What's a strange talent you have?
5) Do you have a hobby that would surprise others?
May 28th
25 notes
May 27th
68 notes
May 27th
claviusrobinsky asked: Your husband looks just like my brother in law. It's creeping me out. Wow, I just had this strange twins, doppelganger switching people out mind control scenario go through my head and also something inappropriate....

Question? I'm supposed to ask a question? Oh yeah, your husband and my brother in law...are they the same person?
May 27th
pikkutiikeri asked: What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered for after your death?
May 26th
bluecrab asked: If you were a character on a tv show, which one would you be?
May 26th
jhuitz asked: Well, I don't really have anything to ask. But, I recall that your mom is Guatemalan. Both my parents are, and I have been there many times, even during the hight of the of the civil war. I've lived in Europe for past 13 or so years now. People here always tell me what at wonderful country it must be, that they want to go visit. I don't completely see it that way. It is beautiful,...
May 26th
smartasshat asked: "Should I HEAD DOWN now?"... and you quote movies? I'm very disappointed in you, young lady. Very disappointed.
May 26th
13 notes
2 tags
Texts
Ken:  Should I head down now? Me:  Yepper.  Meet me in Montauk. Ken:  What? Me:  It’s from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Ken:  Never saw it. Me:  Yes you did. With the girl from Titanic. Ken:  Never saw Titanic Me:  And the guy from Ace Ventura Ken:  Never saw that either. … Ken:  So should I head down now?
May 26th
50 notes
May 26th
69 notes
May 25th
60 notes
Truthful Tuesday
I judge people that think not owning a television is a point of pride.
May 25th
54 notes
1 tag
May 25th
15 notes
Does anyone know how to get the iPhone tumblr app...
TJ?  Anyone?  Pretty please?
May 25th
9 notes
strangeninja asked: what am I supposed to tag the post for betty?
I finally got it done but forgot what I'm supposed to tag it.
May 24th
5 notes
3 tags
Best ___ ever
That morning I woke up and the light had a strange, yellow quality to it.  Like an old photograph that’s been pressed between the pages of a book for far too long.  I sat up and looked around at my unfamiliar surroundings, at all of my possessions, still boxed away in the corners of the room, and I realized I had slept in the center of the bed.  Not lengthwise, but diagonally.  I had slept...
May 24th
May 24th
57 notes
I am not a blossom, heavy and weighted with pollen. Or a mother soft and pillowed. I am not a soldier, staid, angles and lines. I am not strong that way. I am a memory. Frayed. I am yesterday half-formed and then forgotten.
May 24th
May 23rd
46 notes
May 22nd
64 notes
May 22nd
42 notes
May 21st
49 notes
unstoppable asked: aren't you, like, a scientist? you guys don't have any science stuff lying around the lab that can divine pregnancy better than crappy pee sticks?
May 21st
27 notes
May 21st
79 notes
mattonfire asked: Hi.
So...
Do you have a line or what?
I hope you do. I mean - I hope you have a line if you WANT a line.
I gather that you do, in fact, want a line. So good luck with that.

I suppose that's all I got for now.

Bye.
May 21st
13 notes
1 tag
May 21st
15 notes
1 tag
FFFFUUUUUUU
Me:  Is that a line? Ken:  It’s definitely maybe a line. Me:  How ambiguous is this thing?  I’m no better off than I was ten minutes ago. Ken:  Wait, I don’t think it’s a line. Me:  I need a negative control.  Here, pee on this stick. Ken:  …
May 21st
57 notes
1 tag
May 20th
23 notes
1 tag
I just got kissed
It was on the cheek.  Nothing fancy.  But it was by someone I’ve said maybe 20 words to in my entire life.  Someone who works in our building as a maintenance worker.  I’m baffled.  I do have maintenance worker friends who I greet with a kiss on the cheek, but that’s because I’ve known them for years.  I know about their kids and their wives and their summer vacations.  Not...
May 20th
56 notes
1 tag
May 20th
13 notes
1 tag
Biggest lie I told myself today:
I’m just going to have one bite of this Snickers bar and then take the rest upstairs to Ken.
May 19th
girlredacted asked: I've asked a couple of my favorite moms on here for a good pregnancy story. Seeing as how you are on your way there (fingers crossed for ya!) I'd actually like to ask you something similar.

What are you looking forward to the most about being pregnant? I mean, besides the morning sickness, aversion to your favorite foods and the stretch marks?

Wait, are you...
May 19th
Secret tumblr message
It might look like I have my shit together.  I don’t.  Or I only do until I don’t.  I do on odd days.  Or even.  Or something like that. My self-destruction is no longer as blatantly obvious or horrific as it once was.  I no longer sleep with men I know will hurt me.  I am married to a man I trust.  I no longer harm myself physically.  I don’t do drugs anymore and I rarely...
May 19th
61 notes
May 19th
31 notes
1 tag
May 19th
Things I need to stop doing
Staying up until 2am on a weekday for no reason other than to watch the old “Clash of the Titans” with the hubby Stuffing towels under my shirt while standing in front of a mirror just to get an idea of what I’ll look like when I’m pregnant Eating half a pack of beef jerky when I get home from work Pretending I’m going to bite the waiter when he tries to take my...
May 19th
58 notes
May 19th
57 notes
May 18th
47 notes
Tumblr confession - I'm a total hedonist
I had chocolate cake for breakfast today. I call in sick about once a month just so I can spend the day eating ice cream in bed and watching Californication or Weeds or Desperate Housewives. I’ll spend $1000 on upgrading airline tickets to first class.  $1000 I can’t afford to spend. I often wonder if I haven’t delayed my graduation simply because I’m afraid to go out...
May 18th
60 notes
bumpcrud asked: Something that makes me laugh:

When I click on the little information square on your picture to ask you a question, I have to click on your boob. I fully expect you to get a flood of questions from everyone now.
May 17th
25 notes
May 16th
12 notes
Thiago
“When did you become so boring?” he asks me. I’m taken aback and unsure how to respond.  Part of me is deeply offended.  But most of me is just baffled. I look him over.  He was the center of my social world once.  He was a friend and a dance partner and a shoulder to drunkenly lean on.  He was the only person I trusted when the drugs took me to a bad place.  I was the only...
May 15th
44 notes
1 tag
May 14th
1 tag
May 14th
bananacasts asked: Thanks to yodelmachine, I keep singing "labbity lab work" like the "thumpetty thump thump" part of "Frosty The Snowman." And now it's in your head, too. Kisses!
May 13th
yodelmachine asked: What sort of labbity lab work do you do?
May 13th
Reasons to destroy my labmate
He never helps out with lab chores. He brushes his teeth in the water fountain, so nobody can use it without thinking “spit water”. He likes to randomly clap his hands, really loud - CLAP!! - scaring the holy FUCK out of me. He makes really loud “aaaahhh” sounds every time he takes a sip of coffee. He asks tons of questions at lab meetings, making them drag on and on...
May 13th
59 notes