June 2010
74 posts
redtothetone-deactivated2010062 asked: people have been expressing opinions about people that tell offensive jokes. other people have been expressing opinions about people that express opinions about people that tell offensive jokes. what's your opinion about people that don't have opinions?
My categories
Someone posted the other day about mental categories they’ve created for the people they follow, so I thought I’d share a few of my own:
People who I’d sleep with in a heartbeat if we ever met and I was single and they were single and we’d both shared our sexual history and found it to be mutually acceptable and they promised to buy me dinner first and then call the next...
fuiru asked: Here I am, your go-to guy for any English penile facts...
It's true, unless an English guy is Jewish, he probably isn't circumcised. So Mister Firth is most probably still packing foreskin.
(And I mean "packing" in the sense of someone with a gun is "packing heat", not in the sense that Colin Firth fills boxes with foreskins)
It's true, unless an English guy is Jewish, he probably isn't circumcised. So Mister Firth is most probably still packing foreskin.
(And I mean "packing" in the sense of someone with a gun is "packing heat", not in the sense that Colin Firth fills boxes with foreskins)
factualfiction asked: For serious, do you think Colin is circumcised? This has been on my mind for quite some time. I jjust want to make sure I am envisioning everything properly.
I think not. I've dated some british guys, and nuh uh.
I think not. I've dated some british guys, and nuh uh.
2 tags
Lady on the TV: How did a tiger get all the way across town without being spotted?
Ken: Because it wasn’t a leopard.
Things I learned today
There is no graceful way to bend over and pick a candy bar out of the vending machine, but concentrating too hard on not looking like a total idiot will insure I slam my forehead against the glass.
You should never tell people they can call you “Glans Penis” unless you are really, truly ready for it.
It’s entirely possible to go the whole day with chocolate smeared on your...
Some asshole mosquito thought it'd be funny to...
It actually was pretty funny.
iamnotdiddy asked: Can I call you "Guatemalan Princess"? It has such a nice ring to it. Maybe "GP" for short? Hmmm... In retrospect, I wouldn't want people to think I was calling you "Geometric Progression", "Glycerate 3-phosphate" or "Glans Penis". So, what do you say?
“Love ain’t somethin’ lak uh grindstone dat’s de same thing...”
– Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston
Me: Where’s the good salsa?
Ken: There is no “good” or “bad”. There is only “salsa” and “not salsa”.
Me: You ate it all, didn’t you?
Ken: It was so good.
“There’s nothing wrong with you. Losing a pregnancy so early on is...”
– My dad
My hair will serve as a real-life mop to clean up...
I couldn’t donate my hair to Locks of Love, or any similar charity, because they don’t accept hair that’s been previously bleached. BUT, I found out Supercuts is collecting hair donations to help clean up the oil spill in the Gulf.
I know! I made that face too!
But apparently it’s real. They donate it to a company that then weaves your hair into some kind of mat to...
My boss’s 13 year old son and one of his school-friends are hanging around our lab.
The sad part is they’re doing more science right now than I am.
The sadder part is that’s because I haven’t moved from my chair in the past hour and a half.
The saddest part is I’ve had to pee for that whole length of time.
Do you think if I pay them each a dollar they’ll...
pikkutiikeri asked: I really tried to get you more naked Colin, but it was hard! So I screencapped A Single Man to give you Colin shirtless:
http://bit.ly/9mx7hJ
And Colin pantsless:
http://bit.ly/cGsuIX
That is all.
http://bit.ly/9mx7hJ
And Colin pantsless:
http://bit.ly/cGsuIX
That is all.
Things that are not true but which keep me up...
It’s my fault, because:
I ate swordfish.
I didn’t speak up when my boss asked me to pack up our old lab and I swear I felt something tear.
I went jogging.
I did a lot of drugs when I was younger.
I did something in college that brought this kind of karma down on me.
Things have been too good the past couple of years. I’ve been too happy. I had this coming.
I ate Funyuns...
1 tag
“The pheromone that attracts female mice to the odour of a particular male has...”
– Pride, prejudice and the ‘Darcin effect’ (via coyotesqrl)
I was going to say something about Darcy urine but I held back because I’m a lady, motherfuckers 