June 2011
42 posts
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I was resting my forearm on the side of my stomach while I texted Ken, and Nugget very deliberately pushed it away.
He does the same thing when we try to find him with the stethoscope. He simply won’t have it.
He’s so assertive, my little jelly bean.
He’s going to light up my whole world.
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How to be me
1. Watch Family Feud until 11:00 a.m.
2. Finally leave the house at 11:45 a.m.
3. Make it three blocks before convincing yourself it’s just not worth it to drive all the way in to work at this point.
4. Drive back.
5. Graciously accept a round of applause from your husband. Make a simple but touching (butt-touching) speech.
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I’m sitting in bed, reading. I should be writing, but I’m feeling lazy. I’ve been feeling that way a lot these days. I rest a lot. I skip yoga. I fall asleep when I should be practicing my relaxation…
So I’m in bed. Reading. And even this is wearing me out, so I put my book aside and stare at my stomach while the Nugget squirms and wiggles inside of me. Every...
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My waking thought this morning
Gestesticles - the metaphorical set of balls you grow when you’re gestating.
“I would never have had the nerve to point out that this is a no smoking area before, but now I have the gestesticles to tell that guy to put that shit out.”
…and then the word “gestesticles” ran repeatedly through my head until I got up and made some toast…
Ken has aced all his phone interviews and is flying out to meet with the head honchos at the job in New Jersey. The job that will have him traveling 40% of the time. The one with a large company that will stand out on his resume and the salary that will help him move on to even better things in the future. The one that is dynamic and will make him happy. The one that supplies him with a large...
Glucose tolerance test
Embarrassing: Openly weeping in the doctor’s waiting room because a fellow patient brought in a 3 week old baby boy and he made a little cooing sound!
More embarrassing: Having to rush to the receptionist window because the 100g of sugar you just took down after fasting for 12 hours is doing bad things and you’re about to faint.
Most embarrassing: Walking back out of the...
Backhanded compliment of the day award
“Even you! It’s amazing! All women look beautiful when they’re pregnant.”
Truthful Tuesday
I HAVE A DATE!
I have a date for my Ph.D. defense! It’s August 12th. AUGUST 12TH!!
Instead of looking at this as the day I finally, officially become Dr. Cloudya, doctor of meat, my brain keeps shouting, “52 days until you’re free! 52 days until freedom! Let’s throw on a kilt and Braveheart down the hall!! Freeeedooooom!!”
(Also, I totally just tried to mouse...
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Well, darn...
I failed my glucose challenge screening test. Not by a lot, but enough that my little veins have to go back to the doctor’s office tomorrow for a three hour session with a needle.
The bright side:
Three hours of sitting on my ass with my crochet needles and my headphones
The pampering I give myself after every doctor’s appointment
Great parking because I’ll be coming in so...
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Here’s the thing about my Nugget - he doesn’t like it when I lie down. He’s okay with sitting and standing. He loooves walking. He’ll even tolerate it when I get on all fours. (What? Yoga.) But the minute I lie down, he throws a tantrum.
So I go with what works. I make Ken put his hand on my stomach. I don’t know what it is about Ken’s hand, but 7 times...
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Favorite favorite!
Our first trip to Babies R Us. (Special parking right up front for the preggos!) I was worried registering would be torture for Ken, but he came up with a game. Every time we added an item to the registry, Ken declared that I would get a kiss.
My husband is so wonderfully cheeseball.
I got over 30 kisses.
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My poor husband, who’s unemployed and has no reason to get out of bed before noon, made plans to play tennis with a mutual friend at 6:30 this morning. The ungodly hour was his friend’s suggestion, because he wanted to play before work. So my poor, accomodating, non-morning-person Ken dragged himself out of bed before the sun was up and drove himself out to the tennis courts.
Only...
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TT
This was originally an emo post and I deleted it
I was going to buy a chocolate shake from Burger King on the way home until I looked up the ingredients.
I had turned my computer off and was going to duck out of work ten minutes ago but my boss strolled into the lab and I had to turn my computer back on.
I think the coast is clear now though
I’m going to make a run for it
Wish me...
Me: My boob hurts.
Ken: Um…
Me: Just the left one though. The right boob is the quiet boob. It knows its place. It’s a good boob.
Ken: Babe I’m playing Xbox online.
Me: So?
Ken: With Kinect you don’t need a headset. They can hear everything you say.
How do you feel? Like a run-on sentence.
markusbrutus:
Like I should have some sort of fundamental truth or equation or something that I completely understand and that I can recite the ins and outs of, like a mantra and keep myself afloat without realizing that I’m making the effort, but when I do go to recite it I get hung up on some previously trivial aspect of it and I realize that I’m struggling against the sea once again and it’s...
Effed up memories plaguing me on the way to work...
That time I used nausea as a way to ward off some dude’s advances and he told me to go throw up in the bushes so he could “fuck me already.”
The time some guy in a club gave me his business card by tucking it into the front of my jeans and into my panties. And I let him.
The time I was making out with some guy I couldn’t stand so I bit him and he slapped me.
That time I...
Holy crap holy crap!!
I can’t be a mom. I’m still a kid. I still eat leftover pizza for breakfast and refuse to make my bed. I still cry when I watch Dumbo and wear pigtails to go to the gym. I still have temper tantrums. I still skip work just so I can stay in bed and watch TV. I still don’t get five servings of fruits and vegetables per day. I still have a messy...
“Take that Abe Lincoln, you sonofabitch!”
– Ken playing Settlers of Catan on Xbox
Things I imagine Nugget is trying to say with his...
“What is this fucking waistband?? Get it off. GET IT OFF OF ME!”
“Bored. Bored now. Bored. Hey. Hey mom. Bored.”
“Sing. Not that song, the other one. Yeah that one. Aaaahhhh…”
“What the…?! Flip back over onto your left side. FLIP BACK OVER ONTO YOUR LEFT SIDE!!”
“What’s this? What’s this, mom? ...
If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans
I’m not sure I even believe in a God. Still, this has always been one of my favorite quotes. Because life, it’s kind of a sucker punch.
So we were moving to California in August. My bags were packed and I was all set to buy Nugget a little surfboard and teach him to hang ten. And now…
Now Ken has two job possibilities. One in Miami (BRB, unpacking!) and one in New Jersey...
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